Love is NOT a Business Transaction
Often times, we enter the business of dating like consumers in a store. We want to walk in, find our desired item, and leave as quickly as possible. Imagine being in the mood for chocolate (this probably isn't hard to imagine;) picture walking to the candy shelf by the cashier, grabbing a Kit Kat, and making your purchase. Simple, right? You know what you want, you get it, you leave. Boom, you're satisfied.
We often make the same approach in dating. We enter our relationships with certain expectations of what we want to ensure us with optimal happiness. Little thought is given to what we can do to be accommodating, change ourselves, or adjust for them. We want to get in, find the perfectly wrapped package, and get out! I have seen this far too many times, especially at the beginning stages of dating. We say things like "not my type." "Just not feeling it." "Not interested." When really, we don't know them. We are so quick to consume. And if it doesn't look like we're going to get the instant satisfaction we're looking for, we skip right along to the next candy bar. What's even more irksome is that once we are IN healthy and happy relationships and challenges arise, we think consumerist things like, "we're too different" "this is hard" "they don't appreciate me." What we should REALLY be saying is "how can I change myself to meet their needs?" "What can I do to learn from this experience?" or "How can I make THEM feel more appreciated?" If we spend all of our time skimming surfaces in pursuit of what gratifies us, we will NOT FEEL the same satisfaction that we would sticking with something that challenges us. Digging deeper, and finding out what's REALLY inside another person, THAT brings satisfaction. But it TAKES TIME. It's a process, not a purchase.
So next time you're tempted to act like a consumer, STOP. Don't do it! You're better than that. You're selfless and strong, and you can make a difference. Be a giver, not a taker. Offer EVERYONE the BEST you have, and you will find the highest form of satisfaction from giving of yourself.
We often make the same approach in dating. We enter our relationships with certain expectations of what we want to ensure us with optimal happiness. Little thought is given to what we can do to be accommodating, change ourselves, or adjust for them. We want to get in, find the perfectly wrapped package, and get out! I have seen this far too many times, especially at the beginning stages of dating. We say things like "not my type." "Just not feeling it." "Not interested." When really, we don't know them. We are so quick to consume. And if it doesn't look like we're going to get the instant satisfaction we're looking for, we skip right along to the next candy bar. What's even more irksome is that once we are IN healthy and happy relationships and challenges arise, we think consumerist things like, "we're too different" "this is hard" "they don't appreciate me." What we should REALLY be saying is "how can I change myself to meet their needs?" "What can I do to learn from this experience?" or "How can I make THEM feel more appreciated?" If we spend all of our time skimming surfaces in pursuit of what gratifies us, we will NOT FEEL the same satisfaction that we would sticking with something that challenges us. Digging deeper, and finding out what's REALLY inside another person, THAT brings satisfaction. But it TAKES TIME. It's a process, not a purchase.
So next time you're tempted to act like a consumer, STOP. Don't do it! You're better than that. You're selfless and strong, and you can make a difference. Be a giver, not a taker. Offer EVERYONE the BEST you have, and you will find the highest form of satisfaction from giving of yourself.
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